Lahcy Week 2015
by LittlePrincessNana
Summary: Lahar and Lucy week. A collection of one shots aka glimpses into the love of the odd couple that is Lahar X Lucy. *Cover art done by Dragonshost*
1. Chapter 1

**Welcome to LahCy Week!**

A fabulous brainbaby from _imurmisconception_. Here is Lahar and Lucy Week!

 _There really aren't enough Lahar and Lucy stories. The hair alone... Good heavens. I hope you guys will participate, even though there's really not much time before this starts!_

As always, I'd love for you guys to let me know if you're planning on writing for this pairing week. Leave me a note in the reviews!

I'd like to send a huge shout-out to _Dragon'sHost_ for making the cover image for this story! You glorious woman!

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 **Dates:** December 6th, 2015 through December 12th, 2015

 **Prompts:**

 **Day 1:** Pontificate

 **Day 2:** Paperclip

 **Day 3:** Trust

 **Day 4:** Soap

 **Day 5:** Enabler

 **Day 6:** Order

 **Day 7:** Sinner

 **Day 8 (bonus):** (TBD)

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This week will obviously be rated M (it's me, we're talking about... Of course that's the rating…). I'm laying down the blanket disclaimer here:

 **Please be aware that this is M for a reason.**

I haven't yet decided what I'll be doing for these prompts, but I guess we'll see what happens when I get around to writing them! I'm hoping to be able to have these done on time, but if I'm late... Well, considering just how many stories I've got going right now... I'm sure you'll understand why.

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Until then... Keep writing, reading, reviewing, following, and favoriting!

Big Hugs,

Princess Nana


	2. Day 1 - Pontificate

**Welcome everyone to the first day of Lahcy Week! An entire seven days, eight if you count the bonus day, of love for the Crackship that is Lahar X Lucy.**

 **I will warn you now, all of the posts will be small glimpses in the same timeline or "universe." So, the posts will be much shorter (1k words or less) than my usual.**

 **But! Onto the reading!**

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 **Day 1 - Pontificate**

"This is all your fault, Luigi."

The blonde Celestial mage glared at the pink-haired moron beside her. If it weren't for the cuffs binding her hands behind her back or the closed latch that kept her in her seat, she would gladly _Lucy_ kick his ass into next week. "My fault?" she screamed. "My fault? How the hell is setting half the town on fire _my_ fault?"

Natsu gave a small shrug of his shoulders. "It all started this morning, you didn't feed me breakfast and then you just _had_ to go falling off that balcony just as I was taking a shot at the bastard."

 _He truly knows no shame…_

Closing her eyes, she forced herself to take a deep breath to calm the murderous rage that was building inside of her. "Natsu," she finally hissed between clenched teeth. "I fell off the balcony when it collapsed because you set it on fire. And that _bastard_ was an eight year old boy who stole a candy bar. THAT DIDN'T WARRANT YOU SHOOTING BALLS OF DRAGON FIRE AT HIM!"

"Hey!" the Dragon Slayer bellowed. "He was breaking the law! Catching the bad guys is what we do!"

Lucy felt her eyes bulge as her fists clenched behind her back. For as much as she loved the idiot, she was going to kill him one day. In his sleep, just so she wouldn't have to deal with this crap anymore. Not being able to pay rent was one thing, but getting hauled off to jail was another. _It never fucking fails…_ "He was a child!" she roared. "I could've paid for the damn candy bar!"

"Criminal behavior often manifests in the early stages of development, Miss Heartfilia."

Her head snapped to stare incredulously at the man that sat across from her. Lahar, Head Captain of the Custody Enforcement Unit for the Magic Council. He was an antediluvian, pompous jackass of a man who was the posterchild for OCD and had passed the _hardass_ level at the age of five. (Or so she assumed.) And Gods, did he drown all of the villages in her panties. Every last one of them, wiped from the existence. Every last pair of underwear she owned surely had the words _Extinction Zone_ stamped across the crotch. She would never admit that shit out loud, at least not outside of the confines of her bedroom in the absolute dead of night. But yeah. He totally did it for her any other day of the week, and for reasons she was still not completely sure of.

His usually pristine and flawlessly pressed uniform now clung to his lithe form in tatters. Singed and blackened from the few, or several hundred fingers of flames that may or may not have engulfed the poor unsuspecting guy when they'd passed in pursuit of the child. If she was brutally honest, it looked like a horde of fire breathing moths had swarmed him. Every stitch of fabric resembled swiss cheese, and she was pretty sure his cape was still smoldering. The exemplary top knot that usually graced the back of his head was in shambles, not that she was really complaining about that part. All of the fingers and toes in all of Fiore couldn't be used to count the number of times she'd wondered what it looked like down, around his shoulders the way it was now. Then there were his glasses. A part of her died inside when she realized they were now bent, sitting crooked atop the thin bridge of his nose. She had a serious thing for a man in glasses. Perhaps it was the fact that it made them look smarter. _Not that he needs any fucking help in that department._

"Are you suggesting that Natsu is correct in all of this?" She queried in a mocking tone.

Lahar gave a roll of his violet eyes as his tongue clicked against the roof of his mouth. "No. I am merely making an observation based on years of studies done within our penitentiary system, Miss Heartfilia. And, I am inclined to believe that perhaps that is true given the Slayer in my custody. Mister Dragneel has a very long and quite extensive history of destruction and criminal behavior. The fact that he seems genuinely inept mentally is what has stayed our hand from imprisoning him for his deeds before this."

 _What a fucking dick!_ "Captain Lahar?"

"Yes, Miss Heartfilia?"

"Do you always mean to pontificate or are you just oblivious to common socialization skills?"

A snort came from beside her, denoting something had caught Natsu in the funny bone.

"Pondificate," the Slayer chuckled. "Good one Luce, even if I don't know what that means."

Slowly, her head turned and she blinked at her partner in crime. "It's pon-ti-ficate, with a T."

"That's what I said."

Her first reaction was to tell him no but she knew that it would get her absolutely nowhere. She loved Natsu, she did. But sometimes he was dense as a European hooker's bush, and even that might be not be thick enough. "Would you like to know what it means?"

"Do _you_ even know what it means, Miss Heartfilia?"

 _Oh please, uncuff me so I can punch his thin, handsome fucking face in!_ She took a moment to place another nail in the coffin that was barely containing her wrath. "Pontificate is a verb with two definitions. The first is to officiate as bishop, especially at Mass." She saw his eyebrows arch, and could have sworn she saw the corners of his mouth twitch. But there was no way of knowing for sure. "The second definition though applies to the context in which I used it, as Lahar is _not_ a priest or bishop by any stretch of the means. It simply means to express one's opinions in a way considered annoyingly pompous and dogmatic."

"That… That was, um," the Captain stuttered before clearing his throat. "A woman with a keen sense of intelligence is a very rare and should be valued."

The Celestial mage's eyes narrowed as a small smirk tugged at the corner of her mouth. Watching the man shift, rather uncomfortably, on the small bench across from her was rather amusing. Even more so when she took in the sudden tight fit of his trousers, specifically in the groin region. _So you DO have a weakness!_ "I'm so glad you can appreciate," she smiled.

"Indeed, Miss Heartfilia," Lahar said. The ever-present downturn of his lips broke, the corners turning up ever so slightly. "Perhaps we could review this at further length when you have a spare moment."

"Lucy?"

Natsu's confused tone gave her reason to sigh, his horrible sense of timing breaking her inner fangirl moment. Reluctantly, she pulled her gaze away from the handsome Captain (who had just practically asked her on a date, no less) and turned her attention back to the Slayer. "Yes?"

"Did you just call Captain Butt Stick a dog?"

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 **And there you have my rendition of this prompt. It didn't come so easy, despite that word fitting Lahar a little too well.**

 **Tomorrow is Paperclip.**

 **Please Review, Follow, Favorite!**

 **Big hugs!**

 **Princess Nana**


	3. Day 2 - Paperclip

**Hi everyone!**

 **Welcome back for day 2 of Lahcy Week! Hopefully you all are enjoying the odd love that is this couple. I personally am having too much fun with them hehe.**

 **But, on to the reading!**

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 **Day 2 - Paperclip**

 _Could this day possibly get any worse?_

Lahar really didn't want to know the answer to that question. The first part of the day had been spent listening to the Council drone on and on about the need for better propriety when holding office. He was a pillar of propriety, it had been a useless lecture for him. Then there had been another two hours of eating lunch with the members, watching them stuff their old faces while they undid the previous lecture by groping on poor waitresses who only wished to do their job. The entire situation had been deplorable, being subjected to such hypocrisy. When he'd finally been able to leave, and the last of the ancient perverts had been escorted safely back to their private chambers, Doranbolt had apparently felt the need to worsen the pundits in his head. That was a conversation that made his skin crawl, and he was pretty sure his left eye was twitching behind the transparent barrier of his glasses. It was never a good thing to hear that one of the Fairy Tail Mages requested an audience with him, and that said mage was waiting in his office.

 _Why must he always be the bearer of bad news?_

He liked Doranbolt. Genuinely, he truly did like the guy. Underneath his seemingly roguish exterior lay the heart of a loyal friend and partner. Of course, that didn't mean the guy didn't piss him off to no end. He had a way of playing bounce house on every single _button_ that Lahar had. This was one of those very moments. Why the man would presume it was acceptable to leave any member of the most destructive guilds in all of Fiore unattended, in his office no less, was beyond his comprehension. But, he always had a fitting punishment when his subordinate's pranks and rebellious acts, such as this, became too much. A slow grin spread over Lahar's face as he considered the enjoyment he got from watching the man mumble every profanity known under his breath as he tackled stacks of paperwork. He'd never admit it out loud, but most of it was actually unnecessary. Almost every page that he turned over to complete were doubles. It saved an enormous amount of money, lacrima copier ink prices were astronomical.

He turned the corner, and his pace slowed as he neared the door. The lack of any noise coming from the confines of his small, but personal, space disturbed him. Like children, the lack of sound always meant one thing and one thing alone. Something was either amiss, or this was one of Doranbolt's many attempts at forcing him into an early retirement via an untimely stroke. Steeling himself for either possibility, he cautiously reached out for the doorknob. _Please, for the love of all that is holy and sacred in this world, please do not let me find complete devastation._ His fingers trembled as he turned the knob. There was not a time that he could recall being as terrified as he was, and that bothered him in the most inane of ways. Fear was not acceptable. Any emotion was an enemy for someone in his position.

Taking a deep breathe, he swung the door open and froze in his tracks. He had run through a myriad of scenarios that could await him. Every version of complete and utter chaos his mind could possibly comprehend had been duly noted and an exit strategy decisively formulated to suit. This… This he had not prepared for. It was purely inconceivable. Not only was his office not crumbling around the inhabitant, the books he'd had stacked had been neatly put away. The pens he'd had on the desk were returned to the holder, and every single one had been inserted with the ball point side down. The files he'd left on his desk top were neatly stored in the inbox, his place tabbed given the small colored flags sticking out. It was essentially cleaner than he had left it, and that was saying something. He was an OCD freak, and he cherished that trait above all else.

Despite the beauty of every germaphobe's dream come true, his eyes only passed over it mindlessly to lock on the spectacle in the center of such perfection. The air in his lungs trapped in his throat with the noise that sounded eerily familiar to a moan, his eyes bulging and an odd sensation that he wasn't familiar with settling somewhere below his belt. Pink satin and creamy, sun kissed flesh peaked out from under the ruffle of navy blue that had risen up high onto the generous swell of two flawlessly rounded asscheeks.

 _Gods, I bet it feels better than it looks._

Surprised, his hand came up to slap over his mouth for fear he'd said that aloud. Heat flared across his face as if he'd fallen asleep in the sun, and his mind blanked at his very _Un-Lahar_ like thoughts. Two large, cinnamon colored eyes turned on him, and plump (kissable) pink lips turned up into a bashful smile. Unable to look away, he watched her push up from the floor. _You will not like her. She's a part of that demon guild, she was a most likely sent here to murder you._ Coughing to clear his throat, he finally found his voice. "M-Miss Heartfilia…"

Lucy stepped forward and opened her hand to reveal a small, metal paper clip lying innocently in the center of her palm. "That was on the floor," she smiled. "I must have dropped it when I was straightening up."

 _Marry me?_

The corners of his mouth twitched as he reached up to push his glasses up the narrow bridge of his nose. "Thank you, Miss Heartfilia. To what do I owe the honor?" He realized before the words were completely out of his mouth that there was nothing she could say that could ruin the sudden glorious turn his day had taken…

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 **Yes… Lahar REALLY likes Lucy's butt muwahaha. He's so buttoned up and to know just a peak and he loses his cool. But, poor Doranbolt and sneaky Lahar.**

 **Please stay tuned for the next prompt - Trust. It may be a couple of days off due to working on other stories and all the holiday stuff going on.**

 **Please, don't forget to Review, Follow and Favorite!**

 **Big Hugs,**

 **Princess Nana**


	4. Day 3 - Trust

**Hello everyone!**

 **Sorry I am a little late posting this. I literally just finished it haha (so please forgive any grammatical errors… I was rushing lol). It went over my set word limit for these but apparently Lahar WANTED to be a little wordy hehe.**

 **But, Onto the reading!**

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 **Day 3- Trust**

Lahar glanced around the small shop his date had dragged him into, standing at attention just outside the dressing room area. It was not a shop that he would exactly wander into on his own, that was for sure. The _angel_ mannequins in the front windows put it on the "Do Not Enter EVER" list. The interior contents, well… Just walking through, weaving in and out of the racks, had him incredibly nervous. This was uncharted territory for him. Lace, satin and ribbons of every color known to man was thrown together and sold at ridiculous prices; all under the ruse of being considered _ladies undergarments_. Just looking at the armless mannequin that was placed to his left, he still did not see how that qualified as anything other than a seamstress' scraps. _And what decent woman would wear a string of pearls between her… Nestled in her… Her lady parts?_ It was just completely inconceivable. Yet, he'd gladly agreed when she had begged to go in. Just a glance at the other female patrons had him second guessing that decision. They were eyeing him the way a rabid, starving dog eyed a rancid piece of meat. He was almost sure he saw one of them lick her lips the way a beast would, all with a lecherous grin.

Their dinner had gone amazingly smooth. He'd been rather taken aback when the blonde bombshell of a mage had willingly agreed to dinner. She was, as Doranbolt had put it, out of his league. He didn't see himself as attractive or unattractive. He was just… him. And, dating had never been his thing. Ever. He had too much ambition, a job that demanded all of his attention. There was no time for the frivolous things in life, having a life partner fell into that category for him. Lucy though, she intrigued him. How he'd missed it before was beyond his ability to compute. He made a mental note to go back and review at a later time, his OCD and attention for detail demanded it. Not only was she absolutely stunning with hair the color of sunlight and eyes that reminded him of hot chocolate on a cold winter's night, she was enticingly intelligent and cunningly witty. And her sense of humor… No one had ever laughed at his jokes. He knew it was all because of their intelligence levels being subpar to even that of cavemen. But not her, she not only laughed but was able to come back with ones of her own. When she dressed those traits up in the curve-flattering sky blue sundress, she enthralled him to say the very least.

"-har? Sweetie?"

Her voice, he was sure was what the angels sounded like when they sung, rescued him from the edges of the deep, dark complexity of his thought chamber - ok and the watchful eye he had on a few of the patrons. Looking over, he found her head peeking out from behind the pink curtain that shielded the small booth from view. "I am sorry," he said with a quick cough to clear the odd knot that formed in his throat. "Did you need something?"

Lucy flashed a radiant smile that only served to weaken the resolve in his knees. "I can't seem to get the ribbon laced tight enough…"

His brows furrowed for a moment until he realized what she'd taken into the dressing room. A stunning, rigid garment, that she'd kindly informed him was a corset. It was identical to one that had been displayed in the window outside. It looked to be a chinese brocade in a lovely shade of crimson with intricate black lace lining the top and bottom hem. Imagining it on her, he found his mouth suddenly deprived of every drop of moisture. "I… uh…" He stammered as he glanced around the shop, desperately searching for a sales associate. "I will go find one of the workers to, um, come assist you with that."

"Nonsense," she chuckled. "You can help me, silly."

His eyes widened in what could only be shock. He could quite literally hear the pounding of his own heart. There was no way he could go in there and help her. That was just preposterous, ill-conceived and highly inappropriate. "M-me? I…" He swallowed uncomfortably and realized he could feel the moisture that had vacated his mouth, seeping out from the pores on his forehead. "Definitely not, Lucy. That would be very improper."

"Lahar," she chuckled before leaning forward to glance quickly around the shop. "No one would even know."

"But, I would know," he blinked.

She gave a playful roll of those beautiful doe eyes of hers before crooking a finger holding the curtain to beckon him closer. "It will only take a moment," she said with a bat of her eyelashes. "Please?"

As if that thin finger controlled an invisible string, he found himself being slowly lured forward until he was close enough that he was sure he could feel her body heat through the pink barrier. He had no clue what the hell he was doing. Logic dictated that he locate one of the useless associates, but just a bat of her lashes with those wide eyes imploring his help and he was suckered in. "Let's be qui-"

His words were cut off as her hand struck out to curl into his shirt, pulling him inside the dressing room before his brain could adequately process what was going on. With the curtain gone from between them, his eyes had an unshielded view of her attire. His jaw went slack as his eyes traversed the dangerous curves that were tightly bound by the boned corset. Her already thin waist was pinched in even further to accentuate the swell of her hips, and pushed her overabundance of breast up high enough that he was surprised it didn't touch her chin. The panties, or what was supposed to be panties, was little more than a small triangle of matching brocade fabric that was held to her body by black ribbon that tied at the widest point of creamy, sun kissed hips. The saliva that he'd been robbed of before came rushing back with a vengeance, so much so that he was forced to wipe drool from the corners of his mouth.

"Do you like?" Lucy grinned as she pushed him back against the stall wall. "I'm not sure this is really my style."

"I… Lucy, that…" Words completely failed him, his brain officially checking out on vacation. Not one word came to mind that seemed adequate enough to describe just how perfect she looked. His entire body seemed to agree as he felt his pants tighten uncomfortably. "W-we could be caught."

Her body pressed itself flush against his, her trapped breasts threatening to spill over the top of the corset. "No one knows," she whispered when her lips were just a hair's breadth from his. "Trust me, we won't get caught."

Lahar contemplated that heavy word for all of two nano-seconds. Trust was a precarious thing and he gave it to so very few people. But the feel of her nearly naked form pressed against him, the alluring scent of sunflowers that seeped from her smooth flesh and peppermint that drifted from between her lips, he was unable to see the forest for the trees. In an extremely rare moment, he threw caution to the wind and captured her lips. The sound of her soft moan elated him, spurring him to delve further into the delectable cavern that was her mouth. He hadn't kissed a woman in years and it suddenly made sense why. He'd been waiting for that very moment. The sweet, candy flavor that was all Lucy, the feel of her tongue gracefully waltzing with his... She was the epitome of every wet dream he'd never had and every fantasy that his mind had been too narrow to conjure.

As if his hands had a mind of their own, they slipped down to the generous curves of her ass as hers made their way over his shoulders. He roughly palmed the exposed, smooth flesh of her ass, pulling her tighter against him. His erection jumped in the tight confines between their bodies, the damp fabric of his boxers declaring just how much her body affected him. Dressing room be damned, the thought of seating himself inside the tight, hot grip of her womanhood dominated his mind. It was so completely out of character for him, yet that seemed to incite a riot in his pleasure centers. The chant for more echoed in the solitude of his mind as a hand obeyed the call of duty, slipping down to lift a thin, toned thigh and hooking it over his hip. He greedily drank in the seductive gasp she let loose into his mind, his only response being a throaty moan of his own as his lips captured her skilled, pink tongue to suckle upon.

" .GOD! Captain?"

"Uh, Lucy?"

"My word child, why would you bring her he- Lucy? Captain Lahar!"

Three separate, but very familiar voices intruded on his fantasy come true, clearing the fog that had consumed his mind. A groan of absolute frustration echoed in the small confines of the dressing booth as he reluctantly pulled back to glare at the unwanted intruders. Doranbolt's jaw easily rested on the floor, his smart ass mouth gaping like a venus fly trap. The small girl beside him had a face that was the exact shade of Lucy's corset, her small hands shielding her mouth from view. The ever proprietous white exceed was perched atop the young dragon slayer's head, glaring at him while her small paws covered Wendy's eyes. "Trust me, she says. We won't get caught, she says."

"Not my fault that Doranbolt stalks you in his free time," Lucy chuckled as she pulled away to slip behind the shield of his body and cape.

Lahar cast her a glance of disbelief before returning his tempered glare on the trio. "Do you people not understand the concept of knocking?" He gritted. "Or do you make it a habit to randomly rush into closed dressing rooms?"

The direct line mage fish lipped a few times before finally finding his own voice. "W-we did knock, but no one answered so we assumed…"

"And why would you partake in such lewd acts in public, Captain?" Charle condescended.

His brows shot towards his hairline, his left eye significantly twitching. How dare that little, insolent whelp of a cat question his off duty activities? He knew he could easily have the lot of them hauled in for break and entering, or some nefariously chumped charge that wasn't coming yet to his still muddled mind. _No, you could not do that. They could easily press charges against you for indecent conduct in the presence of a minor, contributing to the delinquency, public indecency…_ Putting a halt to his descending thought process, he took a deep breath to calm himself before speaking as level as he possibly could. "You barge into a private dressing room," he monotoned. "What more do you expect? Be happy with the knowledge that you did not catch us in the act of coitus."

"Coitus? Wh-"

Doranbolt quickly slapped a hand over Wendy's mouth and forced an apologetic smile. "You're absolutely right. We'll just be going now."

"That would be a very wise move," Lahar flatly stated. "I do not think a lingerie store is a very suitable place to bring a child." _Pedo… I swear._ His comment seemed to register with all of the force of a wrecking ball. He watched, rather amused as the man quickly scooped up the blue-haired Slayer and her cat before making a mad dash for the exit. _Well, he won't be saying anything any time soon._

"You know," Lucy's voice cut into his thoughts. "We could always go back to your place to, ya know, maybe see about this _coitus_ act you speak of…"

It was as if the interruption had never happened, his erection and desire returning with a vengeance as he turned to eye her in surprise. It was only their first date and they'd only just shared their first kiss. _Sure this must a record of some sort, highly inappropriate behavior to expect that so soon…_ The pink coloring to her cheeks and deviant twinkle in her eyes would be his ultimate undoing. He quickly pulled his cape from his shoulders and held it out towards her. "Give me the tags for those, put this on then meet me by the register," he ordered. "And do not forget to grab your dress."

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 **Oh Lahar, you pervy little thing! Like I said, he wanted to be a little wordy this go around. I am having WAY too much fun putting him in the most ridiculous of situations. He likes it though haha.**

 **But, there you have my interpretation of Trust. Maybe that means I'm really the perv O.O Although, those of you who've reviewed… I am thinking perhaps you guys are too! LOL. Thank you so much for the love you guys are showing for this pairing.**

 **Stay tuned for the next prompt (I warn it will not be posted tomorrow because I am working on Sound Pod for you guys).**

 **Day 4 - Soap**

 **Until then, please review, follow and fav!**

 **Big Hugs,**

 **Princess Nana**


	5. Day 4 - Soap

**Hi everyone!**

 **I know, this is WAY late. Sorry about that but life, writer's block, Sound Pod, Soulful Fugue, FreLu… There's been a lot in the way!**

 **Hopefully this installment for Lahcy week will make up for the delay.**

 **On to the reading.**

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 **Day 4 - Soap**

"Son of a bitch!"

Lahar looked up from the book he was reading, peering at his blonde companion over the rim of his glasses. It wasn't the expression of adoration that she typically pulled from him that settled on his face, but rather that of disapproval. Almost a year of being together, he was fully smitten with the Celestial mage. She was everything someone of his caliber would seek in a life partner. Gentle, usually well mannered, definitely well bred, strong, intelligent, well read and versed in all sorts of literature. He'd even been pleasantly surprised to learn she was a skilled tactician. Keenly aware of her surroundings and an impenetrable sense of self. She saw the entire picture, weighed every possible outcome in a matter of seconds before making the most logical decision.

But, all great things had a price. Not only was she a member of the most destructive mage guild in all of Fiore, which included being a proud member of what he referred to the most criminally defective team, but she also had the mouth of a sailor when it suited her. A deplorable habit that he'd come to see was acquired from an immeasurable time spent with the lowliest of creatures, Dragon Slayers. The lot of them, in his point of view, had all of the charm and couth of a wild pack of dogs. He would not even consider them on the level of neolithic misrepresentations of _man_. Evolution had apparently missed their species completely.

"Oh, come the fuck on! Really?"

Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath to steady the nerve her foul mouth was jabbing at. _I will rid her of this habit, even if it kills me._ "Lucy," he frowned. "Must you use such language?"

The blonde looked up from the small gaming device in her hands, a pout settled firmly on her full lips. "Sorry, but this game is really friggin stupid."

 _That makes absolutely no sense._ He could not, for the life of him, figure out the appeal of video games. It was his firm belief that they demolished brain cells. This only seemed to further that belief. "Then why, may I ask, are you playing it?"

"Because," she huffed. "It's fun, and it's something to do on this six hour train ride."

Lahar nodded in understanding. He hated the long trek himself, refusing to do it unless it was absolutely necessary. And this was one of those _necessary_ times. He was considering asking for her hand in marriage. He owed his parents enough respect to allow them the privilege of meeting the woman that would become their daughter by proxy. "Perhaps a nap or reading a book would be better suited," he suggested.

Lucy grinned as she set the gaming device down before getting up to come take a seat next to him. "Or," she cooed as she cozied herself up against his side. "We could play another game."

His breathing hitched at her closeness, the feel of her ample breasts pressing against him making it hard to resist the temptation she provided. It amazed him just how easily she could sway him from his normal moral compass, foregoing the propriety he swore to live by. All in the name of dying over and over again in the comfort of her flesh. He was sure his neighbors were permanently scarred for life by the numerous times they'd been caught _rutting_ in the elevator. _Poor Doranbolt…_ Ok, perhaps he did not feel sorry for that man in particular. _If he would only learn to knock, he would be spared the sight of my very naked rear end and other unmentionables_. She had convinced him that every square inch of his office needed to be christened, and who was he to deny her? She was incredibly convincing every time she showed up in a cloak with nothing but her heels beneath it.

"Love," he smiled as he reached up to grasp her exploring fingers. He pulled them up before they could reach his already awakening arousal, pressing his lips to each delicate fingertip. "As enticing as that offer is, I must refuse for the sake of our fellow passengers."

"But, Lala-bear!" she pleaded with a bat of her eyelashes. "Please? I've never been fucked on a train."

"I'm sure you've never had your mouth washed out on one either," he deadpanned.

Her tawny eyes narrowed as she pulled away. "You would not."

"Yes, Love," he stated. "I would. Now, you've been warned. Watch your language or we'll take a trip to the bathroom."

"Not nice," she pouted as she slipped off of the seat to move back to her original place on the bench across from him.

He truly did hate to reject her in that manner. She was a vision in her demure baby pink strapless sundress. He knew all too well the undergarments that lay beneath the soft fabric that clung to her chest like a second skin and pinched at her tiny waist. She'd so brazenly modeled it for him the night before, a gift he'd purchased from the shop they'd visited on their first date. He would have never thought himself to have much of a lingerie fetish, but on her… It was his kryptonite. It was wrapping on a gift that kept giving. Christmas happened a lot in his apartment and her own.

"Such an asshole sometimes."

The muttered words, said under her breath were so low that he questioned hearing her at all. "I am sorry," he frowned. "What was that?"

"Nothing," she smiled before going back to her video game.

His eyes narrowed for a moment before he chose to let her slide. "Very well then."

She was disappointed, and he completely understood. But, she was a screamer. Every single person on the train would undoubtedly hear her, and know exactly what they were up to. He would hate to have to imprison the dim-witted slug that would surely look untowards at her when they exited the train. His Lucy was not a loose woman, and nothing short of death would be satisfactory for anyone who would be so brazen as to think she was. The heavens help the poor sot that decided to approach her for their own selfish desire. He'd seen the infamous _Lucy Kick_ in action more than a few times performed on some of his men in the barracks for thinking to hit on her. He'd even left Doranbolt with a few more scars of his own for lewd remarks where she was concerned.

"Gah! Link, you stupid little goat fucker! That isn't the button I pushed!"

The anger in her voice went ignored as Lahar set his book down on the seat beside him. Wordless, he rose from his bench and made his way to the small bathroom their private cabin offered. He hated to travel, but he insisted it was done in comfort when he did. He reached for the small, wrapped bar of soap that decorated the sink's ledge. He removed the wrapper and discarded it in the waste bin before heading back out to the main room. "Device," he demanded as he stuck out his free hand.

"What?" she questioned as she looked up in confusion. "No, this is mine."

"Lucy."

Her eyes flickered down to his closed hand for a brief moment before she let out a heavy sigh, and begrudgingly placed the game boy in his open palm. "Fine," she pouted. "But I don't want that."

"I know," he nodded. "But you have been warned. Quite often, now tongue."

"But-"

Pointedly looking at her, he lifted the small bar of soap to her lips to quell her argument. "No buts, Love," he chided. "You can either take this as punishment or we can go with option B."

"Option B," she responded quickly. "Whatever it is, it has to be better than this."

His thin brows lifted. "Are you sure? I was under the impression you were rather fond of sex."

"What?"

He wanted to laugh at the way her face fell but he forced his calm exterior to remain in place. "Sex. Sexual intercourse," he lamented. "Option B is no sex for two weeks." _Please do NOT let her pick that one. My hand just isn't the same anymore…_

"Two weeks?" Lucy scoffed. "Seriously? Soap or you're holding out for two weeks?"

"Yes, I believe that is what I said."

She gave an indignant huff as her eyes flickered down once more to the bar he held, weighing her options. "That's not very fair."

"Things in life are rarely fair, Love," he shrugged.

Accepting her fate, he watched as she tentatively stuck out her tongue. Inside, he jumped for absolute joy at her choice, while his cool demeanor held fast on the outside. The way her face wrinkled in disgust as he scraped the handsoap on that pink muscle was almost comical. Unlike the way his member twitched in his pants. He wanted nothing more than to replace the soap with his arousal. _But spoiling her will never break the habit._

"Good girl," he remarked when he was satisfied her tongue was thoroughly coated. He knew it had to be the foulest taste, and almost pitied her tastebuds. Turning back, he placed the soap on the bathroom sink and returned to his seat. He could feel the weight of her stare as he moved about, choosing to avoid looking for fear of buckling.

"So mean," she pouted softly.

"I know," he said as he picked up his book once more. "But, you love me despite that."

"Yeah, and you love me too despite my potty mouth."

A smile tugged at the corners of his thin lips as he raised his gaze to hers. "That I do, Lucy," he sighed. "That I do. With all my heart."

* * *

 **Not only is Lahar a closet perv, but he's also a hard ass. No surprise there though LOL. But there you have my interpretation of the Soap prompt.**

 **I will admit, the next prompt probably won't come until next week. Unless, like this, the urge to switch over from Sound Pod strikes. That is kind of dominating my time at the moment :)**

 **The next prompt will be Enabler.**

 **As always, please review, follow and fav!**

 **Until next time… Big hugs to you all!**

 **Nana**


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